I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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