The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
