we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
