eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
