She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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