Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
