yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
