he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
