We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have post one night stand depression
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
