We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
