it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize