I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
