Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Randomize
