Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
