i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
