Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
