WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
