OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize