Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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