You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
