How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
