I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are the jesus of drinking
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
