I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
