Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
