for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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