I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
