K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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