i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize