I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
