that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize