I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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