your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
