I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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