How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
