ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
