see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
