Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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