But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So squirting runs in the family.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I will pee on everything he values.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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