but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
