I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
