you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
