Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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