im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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