I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You ruined the universe
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
