well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
