Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize