we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
