Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
