She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Panties = found
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