on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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