Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
