This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
