And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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