For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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