Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
two words...techno handjob
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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