God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
