I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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