Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Even my vagina gasped.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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