u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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