i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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