Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
