STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
