I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
