Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
