The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
