Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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