You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How external is "for external use only"?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
